What is your Why?
Understanding the reasons behind our food choices, how we care for our bodies, and how we spend our time is crucial if we want to understand our actions and why specific habits or ways of thinking might be reoccurring. Understanding our why also helps us set boundaries.
Sometimes, it seems daunting to figure out the why behind the things that we do, but there is also a lot of freedom found when we figure out our core values or why we have been engaging in unhealthy behaviors or habits. We get to take some power back when we know the why behind our actions.
Let's dive into looking at how we make food decisions: If you feel like you need to begin restricting certain foods and following a specific diet, what is the why behind that feeling….?
If I lose weight, I’ll look the way I “should”
If I lose weight or eat healthier, I’ll have more energy
I don't deserve food and, in many places in my life, don’t deserve good things
Life is too chaotic and I want something in my life to control and to be able to keep steady
Even if your why doesn’t feel negative, it is still important to acknowledge it. If your why is harmful/unhealthy, there are probably deep internal beliefs you’ll need to face before you can fully address your health goals. When deciding something, ask - Am I making these food decisions out of freedom or fear? Am I making my decision based on other people’s beliefs or values? What do I value?
If you want to figure out what you want, start with figuring out your why…Why do you feel like it is time for a change or need to eat or look a certain way?
There is power in articulating your whys. This exercise can strengthen your ability to do or not do something because you have called out a reason for your behavior, and you know deep down if you are making a decision out of fear or freedom.
Consider this personal example...
I love mornings and value rest. But in the past, I have had people suggest I go to bed early because sleep is good for me, and I have also had friends say things like, “Sleep when you're dead.” I have heard other people's values of sleep for a long time…but the truth is I value sleep and rest, and I know my body needs a lot of sleep….so I can’t just listen to everyone who lives by the motto “Sleep when you're dead.” That doesn’t work for me. But I have to decide that and stick to my values and know that I value sleep because it makes me more productive and honestly kinder.
So, after trying to fit into a mold in high school and college that I could get away with less sleep like others, I made it a habit to maintain consistent hours of sleep and honestly put boundaries around going to bed early, so sometimes, I have to make the unpopular decision of leaving events early so I can sleep. which can seem lame. But this discipline became an easy choice because getting enough rest makes ME more productive and enables me to help others be productive, too. There is a why behind why I have boundaries around sleep.
When it comes to how you spend your time, what are your whys? What do YOU Value?
I want to do life-giving things (figure out what those are) because I want to live a life of purpose
I want to build a healthy community because people matter, and we were made for community
I want to learn a new skill because I want to be a better employee and continue to learn
I want to set boundaries for myself because it helps me maintain healthier relationships
I want to focus on work because I value the work that I am doing and see how it impacts people
Is your reasoning behind how you spend your time/what you do for your community's and your own betterment, or because you fear peoples’ perception of you and want to come across a certain way?
I want to land this job and raise because others will see me as impressive, and I will feel worthwhile
I disagree with that decision entirely, but I am going to do it anyway because everyone else seems to agree, and I don’t want to be seen in a certain way
Don’t be afraid to think deeply about what you value and how you want to live this life.
When making daily decisions, consider this question:
Am I making this decision out of freedom or fear?
